Listen.

My new blog header is now up!

Those who do not care to listen
will not be able to figure out
that sometimes...
my words are better unsaid...
and be left unspoken.

Missing Link.

Just finished watching Gokusen Season 1. Seasons 2 and 3 coming right up!

Gokusen...

Makes me wanna love school again. I just hope coming to school was as interesting as that. And now you can tell that I am really really bored. And I think that this one made me sound like my college life is like no life at all. Don't get me wrong. I am not having problems with my vacants in between subjects, going from class to class without getting stuck in just one room from 7am-4pm, social life, and talking about my independence everytime I am at our dorm.

But I can still feel that something is damn missing.

Something that I think I will not be able to find even after watching hundreds of asian series not unless I find that missing link from within me. I'm having a hard time, seriously. I can't pull myself together thinking that I lost something for quite sometime now.

Something is lost.
Is it still meant to be found?

I can't hear my heart anymore.

thug.. dub dub.. thug.. dub dub.. thug.. dub dub..

Can you hear my heart beat too?
It's beating for you.

Ask.

What is more painful than not being recognized or even being remembered by a person you once loved?

?

Not being loved by that person at all. I knew it. So silly of me to ask.

I don't know what to do.

I need someone's help... badly.

Buhay Ako.

Original:
January 9, 2008
Tahanan ni Sta. Monica
Tagaytay
5:25pm



Breathing excercise. Nice. Inhale, exhale. Simple diba? Pero swak. Ewan. Basta ang alam ko, sakto. Saktong sakto. Just when I needed it the most.

Ito yata yung nakalimutan kong gawin this past few days eh. No, not literally of course. Siguro nakalimutan ko yung simpleng paghinga nang walang iniisip na kahit anong problema. Nakalimutan ko yung simpleng katahimikan na kailangang-kailangan ko. Nakalimutan ko lahat. Siguro dahil nasaktan ako ng sobra kaya napilitan akong kalimutan ang lahat.

Retreat namin ngayon. Emotional breakdown na naman. Ganun pa rin ang dahilan. Siya pa rin ang dahilan. Lagi naman eh.

Breathing excercise. Tahimik. Hangin lang ang naririnig ko. Pero maliban sa hangin, narealize ko na ang dami ko pa palang ibang puwedeng marinig. Lahat-lahat. Kahit ayaw kong pakinggan.

Strong realizations. Sabi ko na eh. Right timing ang retreat. Malayo sa kanya. Malay mo nga naman diba? Pag-uwi ko bukas, baka ok na ako. Baka sakaling makuha ko na yung gabi-gabi kong ipinagdarasal.

Peace of mind.

Then suddenly, God touched my heart. Parang sinasabi niya sa akin na nandito siya para sa akin. Kahit iwanan ako ng lahat. Nandito lang siya. And I know that He'll forever be with me. Naghihintay lang siya sa kailanganin ko ulit ang tulong niya. I know He will not let me down. Never.

Nasaktan ako.

Yun ang katibayan.

Buhay ako.

Another Day.

I woke up around 11:30am na. Pa'no ba naman, nag-iinternet pa ako hanggang 4am last night, diba? Ayun ang consequence. Late ang gising. As for always.

Nothing special happened today.

Uhm. Yung nanny namin for around two years already, bumalik na siya ng province.

Uhm. Hindi ako sumama sa paghatid, so nag-internet lang ako dito sa bahay mag-isa.

Uhm. Pagbalik nilang lahat galing sa paghatid, binalita nila na nahuli daw sila ng police. Red ligh daw pero pinaandar daw ni tito. Tapos, yung dinahilan daw nila, masakit daw yung tiyan ni Gab, who is by the way seating in the front seat, tapos dadalhin daw nila sa hospital kaya nagmamadali daw sila.

If you will try to look at Gab daw during that time, he doesn't look like he's tummy is aching. He's just six years old by the way and that proves na hindi siya puwedeng mag-artista. Ayun. Hindi naniwala yung policeman. Nagbayad pa tuloy sila.

Aside from that story na nasagap ko lang from everybody pagbalik nila, eh may laban ang Ginebra tonight as they will go up against the Red Bull. Do or die daw ito. Kasi daw, if they lost, wild card na daw sila.

So nanood naman ako nung game. sa tv. at around 7:30pm. And guess what?

THEY WON!

Nice! They are still alive for that QF spot. Whew! At least I can sleep peacefully later.

Or not.

Ateneo College Entrance Test Results will be out TOMORROW.

Oh my! I need prayers! I honestly hope that I made it.

I'll try to check it later sa site. Sana meron na. Para naman makatulog ako ng maayos.

By the way, I'm going to school tomorrow! May something about the Consolette thing daw and we have to go there. Excited ako. Wala lang. Lol.

So ayun. I don't know if I can post another one in here later tonight. Maybe if I will be able to see the ACET results later, then I will.

*I haven't seen him the whole day.

*Was he able to watch the game a while ago?

Haaiii.

I'm crazy. I really am.




Love lots,

Kei.