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12.17.2007

Forever in My Dream

Nights are old as the stars shimmer,
Empty feelings as your memories linger.
Loneliness and hatred compressed into one,
As I've met you, the lonely battle has began.

My mind against my heart,
As tears fall apart.
Waiting for you with no regrets,
Even if it means total sadness.

In the middle of the night, I cry,
After such experience I've wasted in sigh,
You made my heart feel that you're already the one,
While you were too busy caring for your only one.

Such mistake broke my heart into pieces,
I've missed all your warm hugs and kisses.
But those things were never real,
As you only existed in my dream.

I love you, even though you never cared,
Those stares, those smiles, left me hanging in the air.
I hope I can have all the confidence to say these things to you:
I love you, I hope you'll love me too.

12.14.2007

Unspoken.

From the moment I've realized that this is not just a feeling of care
I became lost and scared of what may happen to what I long to share.
Lost to the reality that my dreams of you with me will never be real,
And scared knowing that I've already fallen, and I hate what I feel.

I have a life but not as colourful as I wish,
Still, it is full of doubts and empty feelings.
I closed my eyes to the desire that love will just be around,
But then, I met you, and that made me feel that love is way beyond.

I thought that you, feeling the same way that I do, could be real,
But I just figured out that God only wanted me to feel such thing,
Because even if I continue to hurt myself and go on pretending,
Still, you will not be included in that stupid package deal.

Hopes and dreams that vanished in the velvet sky,
You left my heart with no choice, but cry.
You may see me lonely everyday, but you don't know why,
It's because of your numb feelings, tearing my heart up high.

I am forcing my self not to have you running in my mind,
And I tried to ease the pain that is clashing deep inside.
But I think I've failed as I've already realized,
That I am still here waiting for the pain to subside.

I lost the battle between my mind and my heart,
For I know, right from the start, that you are just a star.
I may still continue loving you without you knowing it,
But I want myself know that you are not worth it.

Letting myself escape the reality that this is not meant to be,
A part of me is still hoping that you can be with me.
Even though there is this little thing called "destiny",
I hope that you will not just remain forever in my memory.

I thought that loving you with all my heart is a big mistake,
But now, I can feel that it is more of a huge risk to take.
I just felt it, without any words, without any reasons,
I think that this is what being in love is all about, after all.