Nang Magkatagpo

Sa totoong buhay pala,
hindi talaga nagaganap
ang mga ipinalalabas
sa mga pelikula at telenobela.

Hindi pala mabagal ang mga galaw
habang lumiliit ang inyong pagitan
hanggang sa hindi mo namalayan
na nasa harap mo na pala siya.

Wala rin palang akmang musika
na bigla nalang ng tutugtog
kapag nakatingin na kayo
sa mga mata ng isa't isa.

Wala rin yung nagkasalisi
na pahabol na lingunan
kapag nagkalampasan na
kayong dalawa.

Sa totoong buhay pala,
tibok lang ng puso ang maingay
at kakabahan ka na lamang
sapagka't parating na siya.

Pipilitin na huwag tumingin sa kanya
ngunit maiinis ka na lang dahil
bago pa man kayo magkalampasan
ay mapapatingin ka rin pala.

At kapag lumampas ka na sa kanya,
tapos na pala ang lahat at
didiretso ka na lang dahil
wala ka na palang lilingunin pa.

Sapagka't sa totoong buhay pala,
walang magaling na direktor,
walang malupit na tagasulat,
at higit sa lahat, hindi ka artista.

Ang Pilipinas ng Susunod na Henerasyon: Isang pagtingin sa Pilipinas Isangdaang Taon Mula Ngayon

Sadyang napakamakapangyarihan ng pluma. May mga salita na maari sanang nakapag-ambag sa ating kasalukuyan ngunit hindi naisulat kung kaya’t nakalimutan rin kinalaunan. May nakapagsabi sa akin noon na kung gusto ko raw maging imortal, magsulat ako ng libro. Naniniwala ako dito. Ngunit sa tingin ko, kahit hindi libro; Kahit ibang uri ng panitikan ang ating ilimbag, basta’t may kabuluhan at kapupulutan ng aral, ay tatagal ng habang panahon. Maaring alam rin ito ni Dr. Jose Rizal. Siya na ilang taong pinaghandaan ang kanyang kamatayan ay nagsulat ng nagsulat sa pagnanais na maging imortal –imortal sa puso’t isipan ng kanyang mga kababayan.

Tungo sa hinahangad na kalayaan

Para sa akin, nagtagumpay si Dr. Jose Rizal sa kanyang pagnanais na maiparating sa mga Pilipino ang nais niyang ibahagi sa pamamagitan ng pagsusulat ng Ang Pilipinas sa Loob ng Sandaang Taon. Malinaw ang kanyang layunin sa paglimbag ng isang sanaysay na tatalakay sa kalagayan ng Pilipinas bago dumating ang mga mananakop, sa kamay ng mga mananakop, at ang kinabukasan ng bayan. Totoo na may mga hindi natupad sa kanyang mga pangitain, ngunit mas nakatawag ng aking pansin ang pagtingin niya sa kinabukasan ng bayan na, ayon sa kanya, ay walang ibang pupuntahan kundi ang kalayaan sa takdang panahon. Bilang kabilang sa henerasyon na tinukoy ng ating pambansang bayani sa kanyang paglalahad ng kinabukasan, hangad ko rin ang paglaya ng bayan gaya ng ninais ni Rizal. Ngunit dumaan ang isang daang taon, ano na nga ba ang nangyari sa Pilipinas na ipinaglaban ni Rizal sa paraan na kanyang nalalaman? Ano na ang kinahinatnan ng bayan matapos ang paglisan ng mga dayuhan? At lumisan nga ba talaga ang mga dayuhan? Lumaya nga ba talaga ang bayan?

Nasaan na ang sariling pagkakakilanlan ng bayan?

            Matapos ko mabasa ang makabuluhang sanaysay ng ating pambansang bayani ay hindi ko napigilang mapaisip kung anong Pilipinas nga kaya ang naghihintay sa susunod na henerasyon. Sumasang-ayon ako na wala pa talaga tayong natatamong ganap na kalayaan. Hindi man tayo nakakulong sa mga selda ay kasalukuyan naming bihag ng mga dayuhan ang ating mga isipan. Hindi na kinailangan pa ng armas para tayo ay masakop. Konting matatamis na salita lang, kaakibat ng napakagandang mga imahe ay sapat na para maisalin sa atin ang pag-iisip na kolonyal. Ito ang isa sa mga bagay na nais kong mawala sa Pilipinas. Naniniwala ako na hindi makakausad ang bayan kung patuloy tayo magiging sunod-sunuran sa pantayan na inilatag sa ating harapan. Tayo ay isang bayan na may sariling pagkakakilanlan, ngunit bale wala ito kung patuloy ang ating pagpupumilit na gayahin ang pagkakakilanlan ng ibang bayan.

Isangdaang taon mula ngayon

Isangdaang taon mula ngayon ay buong tapang kong iniisip na makakaalpas na ang bayan sa pag-iisip na kolonyal at sa diktaturyang kultural. Muling magbabalik ang ating puso’t isipan sa ating sariling bayan. Magkakaroon na ng mas matatag na pagkakakilanlan ang Pilipinas, at sa wakas ay buong lakas na nating mapaglilingkuran ang ating lupang hinirang. Nakikita ko rin ang pagiging wikang global ng wikang Pilipino sa loob ng sandaang taon. Sa tingin ko ay panahon na upang atin naming maipamalas ang yaman ng ating wikang pambansa. Buo ang aking loob na hindi na magtatagal ay maipapakilala na rin natin sa buong mundo ang tunay na galing ng mga tunay na Pilipino. Napapansin ko na sa bawat dayuhan na may dugong Pilipino na nakakatanggap ng karangalan at papuri sa ibang bansa ay iba ang ating pagtrato. Ngunit hindi ko maiwasang itanong sa aking sarili kung ito ba talagang mga taong ito ay may pusong Pilipino. Totoo na may dugong Pilipino na nananalaytay sa kanila, ngunit ang pagka-Pilipino ay hindi lamang naka-angkla sa dugo o sa lahi. Higit na mahalaga ang pagmamahal sa bayan, pagpapahalaga sa mga kababayan, at pagsasabuhay ng mga katangiang Pilipino na habang-buhay magiging batayan ng pagiging Pilipino.

Para sa susunod na henerasyon

            Pagkalipas ng isa na namang sandaang taon, ano na kaya ang kahihinatnan ng mga Pilipino? Paano na kaya ang Pilipinas sa kamay ng mga susunod pang gobyerno? Makakahanap pa ba pagbabago ang bayan na tila sinukuan na ng pait at pighati ng kahapon? Makakaalpas pa ba ang mga Pilipino sa mga problemang nakabaon sa kanila ngayon? May maghahangad pa ba ng ganap na kalayaan mula sa kaisipang kolonyal at diktaturyang kultural sa mga susunod pang henerasyon? Buo ang aking tiwala sa aking kapwa mga Pilipino gaya ng tiwala na ibinigay sa atin ni Dr. Jose Rizal. Kung nagtiwala ang ating pambansang bayani na magagawang makalaya ng bayan sa kasalukuyang pananakop noon ay walang dahilan upang hindi ko ito gawin sa susunod na henerasyon.

Nawa ay manatiling makapangyarihan ang pluma –isang sandata na lubos na makakatulong sa patuloy na pagliligtas sa bayan na ating sinilangan, sa bayan na patuloy nating ipinaglalaban. At sa susunod na sandaang taon, sana ay makamit na natin ganap sa kalayaan at kaunlaran na ninais ng ating pambansang bayani para sa bayan.

Salamat sa musika!

Hinarana na ako ng Harmonya: The String Ensemble of UPLB noong nakaraang Huwebes. Humanga ako sa kanila! Muli kong naalala ang aking musika. Muli akong napahanga ng mga pinagsama-samang nota na umaawit ng bugso ng damdamin ng mga musikero. Napakaganda ng musika. Marami itong nasasabi na higit pa sa kayang ipabatid ng mga salita. Malayo ang nararating nito -malayo pa sa kayang maabot ng aking mga mata. Napapakalma nito ang puso't isipan na puno ng problema at pighati. Napapalaya nito ang kaluluwang nakagapos. Napupunan nito ang pagkukulang ng wika. Napakaganda ng musika, at muli akong napa-ibig ng Harmonya sa musika na tila nalimutan ko na.

Maligayang araw ng pag-ibig para sa lahat ng nagmamahal! ♥

The Seed of Life: An Autobiography

I did not really pay much attention as to how my life has been so far. I live each day exactly like how I managed to survive without any attempt to break the norms of life. As boring and as routinely as it seems to be, I don’t regret at all that I decided to keep it up this way for the past nineteen years of my life. I never intended to be different. Call it playing safe, but I guess, in this game called life, no one would ever make it to the end safely, unwounded at all. Sooner or later, we have to face our fears, and the judgment life will bring us.

From a family endowed with wisdom and faith.

           

On the night before I was born, my mother is out to watch a movie. She might already know that I was coming soon enough, but didn’t really expect that her water will break while watching an action film. She was brought to Mary Chiles General Hospital in Manila but since I am only eight months and a week and they do not have an incubator for me, the hospital did not take my mother in. She was brought to Far Eastern University Hospital instead and there, she gave birth to me on the 25^th of August, 1991. My father being a seaman, my mother took care of me together with her friend, my godmother, and was with us for fourteen years.

           

I was the firstborn of Catherine Cuevas Cruz (1968) of Binan, Laguna and Delfin Tubongbanua Cabal (1960) of Leganes, Iloilo. My mother is the fourth child of Conchita Cuevas and Ricardo Cruz, son of Adriano Faustino Cruz who is one of the brothers of Daniel Faustino Cruz. My father is the third son of Cleofas Tubongbanua and Moises Cabal. I have three brothers, Daniel (1994), Gabriel (2001) and Nathaniel (2000). As a kid, I am really light hearted and I love to smile. I loved being in front of the camera and being taken pictures of. I even became a part of a television contest because Mama sent one of my photos to Konica. I am also musically-inclined as a kid. I sing and dance on an instant! Papa bought me a real keyboard when I was just asking for a toy piano. Papa may not have been with us most of the time because of work but he made sure that we never forget him. He sent us postcards from all the places they visit and greeting cards on our birthdays and other special occasions. Papa is really industrious, and he knows what can make us happy without us even telling it. Mama, on the other hand, is very caring and understanding about everything. They made sure that God will always and forever be the center of our family, and they never fail to set good examples to us.           

Education and extra-curricular activities along the way.

            After my nursery year in St. John Learning Center in Quezon City, I spent the whole of my basic education at La Consolacion College Manila. Being in a Catholic school, I was thought to value life the Augustinian way. I am an active student. I excel in academics and my extra-curricular activities. I win contests, from declamations to essay writings to math quiz bees. I am also an active member of the student council, and I became a part of our school paper. I took piano and violin lessons, and participated in several school plays. I felt my importance at school. I felt needed. I felt blessed because not everyone gets to experience my school life. I am a consistent honor student and graduated Valedictorian in grade school and high school. I was in it for everything, but then again, not everything is like a cake with cherry on top.

Weighed, tested and still wanted to be proven.  

            I lived my childhood life slightly different than the normal. I did not have much time to play. My godmother, who took care with me for a long time, wanted me to focus on my studies more. I can’t play my toys freely and I can’t go out to play with the other kids outside the house. I lived each day hoping that I could play a little bit more, but maybe, I was not just really for childhood fun. This is why I am more carefree now more than ever. When I was able to finally feel freedom, I can’t help but think about how I would become if I wasn’t restrained. But I guess it was too late to hope because I was already in second year high school, and I already grew past childhood games. Instead, a trial came along and tested my character. When I thought my sophomore year in high school was already bad enough, here came the junior year. For the first time in eleven years, I was not able to finish the school year as the best student in class. I was devastated, but I wasn’t strong enough to show it. I am not used to that kind of feeling. I was hurt and I felt sorry, not only for myself but also for my family –for letting them down. My parents counted on me, but I disappointed them. Now, thinking about it again, maybe I was really meant to experience how it feels like to lose something I hold on to for a long time after all. I am really glad that I was able to use that life-changing moment as I did everything to bounce back and get it again the next year. And I made my family proud of me once again. It is actually one of the few things that I could give them for their hard work and support for me and my brothers. It is something that I will forever be proud of and it taught me that every time we stumble and fall, maybe all we have to do is just to get up and walk again.        

College and Independence: The Present.

            I managed to pass in three out of the four universities that I applied for. And as I received my UP admission letter, I knew I had to go to UPLB. I know that I picked the most challenging life option but I couldn’t miss the chance to live life the UP way. I am still trying to keep my options open as to where should I be after college. I am currently on my third year on the BS Mathematics and Science Teaching program and affiliated with UP GURO: Mathematics and Science Teaching Society. I have been weighing options and consequences of certain things and I am still praying and hoping that I will make good choices. I do believe that if something is really bound to happen, no matter where the road will lead me, I know that I will still get it. I guess I do believe in destiny. But I also do believe in free-will. Independence is crucial all throughout my stay in UPLB. Since I am away from my family most of the time, I am bound to make choices and decisions which I know that I should be able to stand up for. I am grateful that I have a circle of friends that share my interests and beliefs. They have been a good influence on me and helped me survive the university life. Since my friends from high school are in Manila, I had to build life in UPLB from scratch. Roommates and dorm mates really came in handy, too, as proximity really matters after all. I also became a blogger, and I maintain news-based site. I am happy that technology aided me to express myself as internet became an avenue for me to broaden my horizon. Sports also became an influential and a huge part of me as I became a basketball fan and a die-hard Barangay Ginebra believer. Indeed, when things didn’t turn out as you expected, we can’t just back down –that’s the never say die attitude Ginebra brought in me.

Taking the next big step? It’s time.

            I think that nineteen years is not yet long enough for me to think about life as a game of survival. But reality is, from the very moment that we were born, everything is about survival. In a world where everyone wants to test my competence, how far can I go? How much am I willing to risk for me to be where I really want myself to be? But then I realized that I should not go where life takes me, rather I should be taking my life where I wanted it to be. No one told me that life will be easy, but no one told me that I won’t be able to handle it either. Right now, I am happy and contented. I have a kind and considerate family, really amazing friends, hard-earned memories, complicated dreams and a whole lot more. Imperfect, I know, but I am proud of everything and I will forever protect my lifetime treasure. I do not know when I can tell myself “Stop. This is it. You finally made it.” but to take one huge step towards it, I guess it’s time.

Autograph signing with Manix Abrera, Jess Abrera and Pepe Diokno

This is a page (actually, two) from my diary. :)

READ IT HERE: Ginebra's THREE KINGS on BALLER Magazine

This is for the benefit of all those who wasn't able to grab a copy of the magazine, either you don't know where to get it, no more copies available, you're not in Metro Manila but within the Philippines or you're out of the country. I only uploaded everything Ginebra-related. Sorry for being bias. :) Anyway, no copyright infringement intended. Credits respectfully given to the Baller Magazine team. Great job, by the way on the magazine!

If you are interested in grabbing your own copy of the December-January 2011 issue of the Baller Magazine, try inquiring at FullyBooked, Powerbooks or National Bookstore. I got mine at FullyBooked SM Mall of Asia, by the way. It took me almost forever to have a copy and it's definitely worth the wait!

PS. You can also download this file in pdf format! Just hit the FILE then Download Original.

Enjoy reading! Never say die! :)

Ang reaction paper na umubos ng lahat ng reaksyon ko buong gabi.

PS. Watch Where the Wild Things Are. Great movie!

Reaction Paper: Where the Wild Things Are
Art, Cinema, Narration

          Where the Wild Things Are is a uniquely interesting motion picture. It may be based on a children’s book but it is not actually a movie that I would want to recommend to kids. I cannot even strictly classify the motion picture into one genre. It has a complicated package but I still believe that it did not make the film any less interesting.

          Honestly, I had to watch the film twice just to absorb everything from it. The first time served as my stepping stone to fully grasp what the movie is all about. The questions that came off my head the first time I watched the film were somehow answered as I watched it again. Max, who was used to getting the full attention of his mom and sister, did not know what to do when his mom had a new man in her life and his sister with her male friends. I figured out his need for attention when I noticed how he doodled in the opening credits of the movie. He is an imaginative boy who brought himself to his imagined world. He wanted to be in a place where he will be heard, where he has the authority, where he simply rules. The smooth transition between reality and imagination made me wonder whether everything indeed happened or not. I almost lost it. Maybe that is one of the reasons why I could not recommend the movie to the kids –they may miss the sleek border and lose it all. The movie was also organized carefully so that everything will keep up with the audience’s flow of thoughts, thus making the mode of narration communicative but subjective.     

          Where the Wild Things Are is an eccentric motion picture in many ways –from its unpredictable mode of narration, down to its unusual combination of real characters, costumes, animations and graphics. Expressive realism created much room for the main character’s imagined plots which somehow made few parts of the narrative vague. Compared movies like Romeo + Juliet wherein the ending can already be seen from its beginning and the characters are strongly identified, Where the Wild Things Are makes the audience guessing of how the movie will end and even left the ending for the audience to fill in.   

          The movie also has some similarities with how Filipino independent films are presented. Like for instance, comparing it with the Filipino independent film Babaylan, the ending was also left for the audience to figure out. It was also vague, with unclear motive along the way. But one could also identify that the narration of the movie is also built on conflict, just like the typical Hollywood movies. The approach of the movie was light and comical unlike the mainstream film Romeo + Juliet which has a clear intention of giving a serious and tragic mood behind the romantic feeling to its audience.

          It also encourages its audience to have a critical approach to its narration. Critical thinking is indeed essential to fully understand a movie’s narration. A simple go-with-the-flow type of viewing will make the audience miss the message that the makers try to give to its audience. The movie is highly symbolic and emotional. Every character in Max’s imagined world magnifies him –his ego, his imperfections, his desires, and his conscience. And critical thinking is stimulated for the audience to fully comprehend what every aspect of the narration symbolizes.

          Being based on a children’s book, I could say that the makers of the film tried their best to keep the narration as close to the original publication as possible. The characters were presented based on how they were described in the book. However, critical differences could be sited in terms of its narration. From the book, Max started his imaginative and mythical journey from his room after he was told that he already became wild while in that of the movie, he ran off from his mom after he was told that he was out of control. The “wild things” were also presented as creatures that are not suitable for young minds based from their appearance and violence, which contradict the idea of the book being a children’s story. The descriptive style of written literary arts is another difference. Since written literary arts don’t have the luxury of visual presentation, it lives and die with how the writer make the words come to life. For the motion pictures, the writers do not have to put everything on the script since facial expressions can make up for the lost words. And sometimes, words not spoken are more powerful, more meaningful.

          Artists by far are vital in making art as a medium of awareness for the society to assess human existence across time. Since art caters a wide range of audience because of its audio, visual or audio-visual presentations, dissemination of knowledge and information is much easier. The creative and artistic mode of presentation spearheaded by the artists also attracts attention from the audience thus traditions evident in the motion pictures could easily be picked up by the viewers and eventually be absorbed into their everyday living. Artists could also take advantage of the technological advancements of the present time to fill in the pieces in between the narration hence, an innovative and modern appreciation for films as art is gained.  

          Art is anything man-made, and a creation out of lines, colors and spaces possessing emphasis, contrast, balance, and proportion through the use of various materials. Content plays significant role in art as it involves the real message that the artist or creator wants to convey. It involves the opinion of the creator with his/her own interpretations and how the audience received and translated these interpretations; how the viewers reacted to the perceived message and the actual intention of the artist himself. Cinema, on the other hand, which may refer to film or motion picture, is made up series of moving images or frames to narrate a story. Animation techniques and visual effects are examples of ways to produce a motion picture. It is a medium used to broadcast or propagate moving pictures.   

          In discussing Humanities, the main focus is the general knowledge and intellectual skills of every individual. Human interests are captured and the human race across culture and time is the main concern. Art and cinema, being one of the focal points of Humanities, gives significant contribution to on how Humanities is being discussed today. Media already takes part in Literature and we are no longer boxed in drawing and painting as the only visual arts. Film is already considered as an art and motion picture analysis may already be synonymous to text reading. Several literary works have already been adopted as major motion pictures and the viewing public became supportive and appreciative of these books-to-movies concept. Literature has already evolved so much through time that we are already in need of wide range of literary outlook as we try to figure out messages and concepts behind motion pictures.  

          Philippine media, motion pictures for example, are often used as an avenue for expressing point of views and opinions regarding socially relevant issues. Filipino writers and directors take advantage of the freedom we have as they try to send a message to the rest of the Filipinos, being the audience, may it be explicitly defined or embedded between the lines and the characters. Issues that are always considered as the main plot of a movie include politics, corruption, religion, poverty, prostitution and family problems. These may be common problems being addressed by our government since time immemorial but the Filipinos never lose hope that maybe, motion pictures could really make change, maybe not in the broadest sense of improving the whole nation instantly, but by making the change in every viewing public.

  
References:

Esaak, Shelley, About.com. What is Art – The Basic Meaning of Art Explained. [http://arthistory.about.com/cs/reference/f/what_is_art.htm, accessed 16 January 2011]

College Movie Review | Where the Wild Things Are [http://collegemoviereview.com/article/where-wild-things-are, accessed 16 January 2011]

The New York Times Company. Where the Wild Things Are – Some of His Best Friends are Beasts. [http://movies.nytimes.com/2009/10/16/movies/16where.html, accessed 16 January 2011]

The Trustees of Princeton University. WordNet Search - 3.0. Last updated 10 December 2010 [http://wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn, accessed 16 January 2011]